The biggest fool on earth

I've really outdone myself this time:
Yesterday I went to a party and one of my two best friends was there as well.
After a couple of drinks I did the single most stupid thing I've ever done.
I confessed my love for her. In my eyes she is the most beautiful woman on earth, and I love inner values even more. She is kind, funny, hardworking, just and simply amazing. In other words way out of my league. If she were just a crush nothing bad could have happened, I got rejected so many times another rejection could not have done much harm.
But the real problem as mentioned above: She is one of my closest friends. And I knew my chances with her are as big as an ice cubes' in hell.
But I truly believe that some people are worth the risk, and because I love her and because she is such a great friend she deserved that I am completely honest with her.
Best case scenario, no matter how unrealistic, she tells me she likes me back. Worst case scenario she rejects me but we remain friends.
Way of the mark!
By the way this was not the stupid thing I mentioned, the stupid part comes now:
She didn't believe that I love her, because she thinks I am in love with someone else, and she told me it is better this way because I don't have a chance.
I could have been of the hook so easily, I could have stopped right there having saved my friendship and even though she didn't believe me I would have been honest with her. But drunk me doesn't think that way. No, no, no. Drunk me tried to convince her that I truly love her...
Well long story short: Guess who now doesn't even talk to me anymore?

I knew I don't even have the slightest chance with her, she is just way to perfect for me in every aspect, well maybe except for the part that I am funnier.
I don't have many true friends, well if I am completely honest with myself I only have 2 people in my life that I can call real friends. She was one of them. And I fucking blew it for the incredibly dump off chance that she might like me back. How can I be such a fool? My life is miserable right now, and instead of making it better, and being satisfied with the fact that I have 2 truely amazing friends. I sabotage my own life and blew my chance of getting better soon.
Some might say if she doesn't talk to you anymore she wasn't a real friend in the first place. But I refuse to acknowledge that

One of my biggest flaws is that I fall in love way too quickly. If you are nice to me chances are high I fall for you. I hate the fact as much as everyone around me does, but it seems I cannot be helped with that and I have to accept the fact and try to live with it.
The thing I can do is not confess my feelings to every girl I like. I should have realised that earlier but now I have and it cost me my best friend.

All I want to say to conclude this is:
I am sorry I deceived you
I am sorry I love you
I am sorry I risked this wonderful friendship
I am sorry I thought about what would make me happy instead of making you happy
I am sorry if I hurt you with my confession in any way
I am sorry I didn't think about the consequences
All I strive after is to make my friends as happy as can be. Sometimes I feel like I will never find happiness in life and that is way I kill myself to bring others happiness. Yesterday I selfishly thought about my own happiness, and I lost 50% of my friends and 33% of the people that are the most precious to me. Maybe I am right, and I am not meant to be happy. So from know on once again, I will make the people I love happy maybe that is the way to gain some happiness myself.